Dickens
was not a saintly child, after the style of Little Dorrit or Little Nell. He
had not, at this time at any rate, set his heart wholly upon higher things,
even upon things such as personal tenderness or loyalty. He had been, and was,
unless I am very much mistaken, sincerely, stubbornly, bitterly ambitious. He
had, I fancy, a fairly clear idea previous to the downfall of all his family's
hopes of what he wanted to do in the world, and of the mark that he meant to
make there. In no dishonourable sense, but still in a definite sense, he
might, in early life, be called worldly; and the children of this world are in
their generation infinitely more sensitive than the children of light. A saint
after repentance will forgive himself for a sin; a man about town will never
forgive himself for a faux pas. There are ways of getting absolved for
murder; there are no ways of getting absolved for upsetting the soup. This
thin-skinned quality in all very mundane people is a thing too little
remembered; and it must not be wholly forgotten in connection with a clever,
restless lad who dreamed of a destiny. That part of his distress which
concerned himself and his social standing was among the other parts of it the
least noble; but perhaps it was the most painful. For pride is not only, as
the modern world fails to understand, a sin to be condemned; it is also (as it
understands even less) a weakness to be very much commiserated.
-Charles Dickens (1906)
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